Traditional Sephardi Feminist

On the Gay-Surrogacy Controversy; the Nation State Law; and the Impotence of the Israeli Peace Movement This post is in response to some dialogues I've noted in the past few days. Firstly; the outrage over the gay surrogacy controversy seems disproportionate relative to far less outrage over the NSL. Secondly; the connection between the two laws being made by left wing opponents of both. The perceived connection is that both are viewed as expressions of the same phenomenon: of bigotry, discrimination, intolerance, and anti-democracy. Any expression in favor of traditional ways of family formation is swept under that umbrella. The irony is that in an equal society in which Muslims and Palestinians had significant influence on the legal process; the outcome would look very different than the  Western-imported liberal agenda that these left wing advocates demand. In fact it’s not only Muslims and Palestinians who have more socially conservative orientation. Lots of Israel...

... And if there is, why didn't I grow up with one? See this article: Is there a Sephardic Mikveh culture?

Important note: This post deals with single women using the mikveh as a prelude to sexual intercourse. It does not address women using the mikveh for reasons not associated with sex, as a way of enriching their ritual life, or as a way of marking other occasions in a spiritual way. While I personally don't find things practices meaningful, I think its great if other women do and they should be encouraged. The rest of the article will deal with going to the miqweh as a practice related to sex. Should single women engaged in a sexual relationship use the Miqweh? Most Orthodox Rabbis say no. Some go so far as to actively bar single women and refuse them entry. Allowing them to use the Miqweh is akin to condoning sex outside of marriage. Some more progressive orthodox Rabbis say otherwise. They reason that sexual relations while in Niddah status is an "Issur Caret", a vague but frightening concept of being "cut off," considered the most serious transgre...

I have not met Adina Bar Shalom (yet). But I feel like I know her in the most intimate way. (Ok so I am probably majorly projecting but anyway). Adina and I are both a Behora.  A Behora (alternate sp. Bechorah) is a first born daughter. Behor  and Behora are known to have been used as nicknames and even as proper names in Ladino. My dad once told me, by way of admonishment, that in Ladino, the Behora is known to be grouchy., moody, out of sorts. Of course, neither he, nor anyone else it seems, ever bothered to consider that maybe the Behora has a legitimate cause for her anger. Maybe she isn't cool with being saddled with caring for younger siblings and household chores while her brothers roam free. Well Adina doesn't seem to be grouchy or out of sorts but like all Behorot, she has every right to be. Particularly as the eldest daughter of a Rabbinic family, as I was; the unfairness of it all strikes even deeper than having to do more than your fair share of drudgery....

As  I am rushing to services Yom Kippur Eve in the Kibbutz meeting hall; I encounter two young women dressed in their Yom Kippur best: White Blouses, Flip Flops, Makeup and Skinny Jeans. I too am dressed like that with a White Blouse and Flip Flops, but instead of the jeans I have an ankle length beige skirt. Religious looking and professional, but not too formal. I put almost as much effort into choosing my outfit as I did in preparing the prayers. The young women ask me if I know where services will be taking place. "Which Minyan?" I responded. "the mixed one, which I am going to right now, or the separate one with the Mechitza?" The girls look at each other. "Oh are you the Rabbah???" Am I the Rabbah? I feel myself assuming the warmth-glowing facial expression that seems to be ubiqitious amongst Israeli woman Rabbis. although as I tell the girls, "I'm not a Rabbah, I'm a Hazzanit. We'd love to have you join us." "uhm...

The book of Judges (along with some other of the prophets) often provides the historical kernel for the incidents in the Humash. One story that has got a lot of attention in this regard is the harrowing story of Pilegish BGibeah, juxtaposed with the story of Sodom. I will not go through all the parallel details, others have done that just as well as I can or better (not the least Ramban albeit with different conclusions). But the primary contrast, the ending; has been ignored. The ending is that the woman dies, and a civil war breaks out resulting in the near genocide of an entire tribe. There is no reason to doubt this as historical. This is raw, real life, as we know it to this day. Justice? What justice? The innoccent women was gang raped and died; and an nearly an entire tribe was killed, in revenge for the actions of the few.  Fast forward to Sodom. Nobody gets raped or killed and the potential male victims turn out to be angels who quickly shuttle the other wou...

    An acquaintance of mine, a traditional Sephardi whom we will call Orna, is having some difficulties at home. Her two young adult son's have gone "chozer b'tshuva, "  Breslev. The younger one in particular seems to have engaged in particularly outrageous behavior; destroying some of his parent's property that didn't meet his religious standards; which to me indicates prior issues in this family. So one day Orna asked me, what is the "correct" belief: Is the entire Torah from God at Mount Sinai or only the ten commandments? And she told me not to beat around the bush or give her any gobbledygook about there being multiple opinions. Smart woman. I hemmed and hawed and had to inform her that the traditional acceptable belief is that the entire Torah was given from God to Moses at Sinai. "Aha!" she said. "so my son was right!" It seems that the son had accused his parents of not being good Jews; based on their belief i...

Because Transgenderism is such a hot topic; I've decided to share my experience with gender dysphoria. I experienced Gender dysphoria approximately from the age of  7 or 8. I intensely wished I could be a boy. Prayed day and night that my breasts would disappear; even though i knew they wouldn't. And that I would never get a period. I did; around my 11th birthday. My whole life long it has been obvious that boys got a better deal. And adopting boyish behaviors didn't get me boy privileges. Like the boys got to use the clubhouse even though I had discovered it. I talked to the other girls, tried to spur them on to fight for our territory, but they just shrugged. I just wondered why no one else seemed to notice or maybe it was me who was crazy. My gender dysphoria dissipated more or less at age 14 upon assuming a heterosexual identity, and my body hatred morphed in to an eating disorder. Imagine I could hate my body AND become more sexually attractive to men all a...

Some years back, a woman named Hagit created an  art exhibit  featuring Bedika cloths. I actually met this woman last year although it was in a completely different context having nothing to do with niddah or art- or sephardim for that matter. I believe Hagit happens to be a Traditional Sephardi (not sure which edah specifically) although like me she seems to have been raised in an Ashkenazi environment. Hagit's simultaneous rebellious-in-attitude- but-obedient-in-practice is similar to what I see amongst many Orthodox Ashkenazi women: Resentment, but sucking it up. Many women try to infuse the experience with spiritual meaning, and use it as a medium for some sort of communion between them and god, but that takes great effort for them. To explain via contrast; few people talk about how they have to overcome their difficulty going to synagogue or lighting shabat candles by trying to view it as a moment of communion with god. Perhaps even a better comparison is Pesah cle...

I'm a Sephardi woman raised Ashkenazi (modern Orthodox to be specific). The older I get; the closer I draw to my roots- and the more distant. When people talk about feminism, or Jewish feminists, they don't conjure of images of Sephardi women. Just try googling Sephardi feminism and you'll see it- nearly a blank page. Because Sephardim are supposed to be traditional, and feminism is untraditional. On this blog, I try to figure out if I can be both. לעילוי נשמת שולטנה בת שרה. תהא נפשה צרורה בצרור החיים.