Traditional Sephardi Feminist

 שלש סוכות.  שלש נשים. לבדנה. סוכה אחת מהודרת מקצה ועד קצה בתמונות של רבנים הדורי פנים ומגודלי זקן לפני שלשה ימים  ישבו בתוכה שלשה גברים שרים שירי שבת וחג יחדו כעת יושבת בתוכה אשה ממלמלת תהילים יושבת זמן רב, ממלמלת ממלמלת לבדה סוכה שניה הורכב מסט בד ועמודים קנוי ולא ממש בפנים, אלא על כסא בכניסתה, יושבת אשה  ("בשביל מה אני צריכה סוכה?" אומרת) וקוראת תהילים רק שפתיה נעות וקולה לא ישמע לבדה סוכה שלישית אחלה זולה (כך כונתה על ידי השכן לפחות) עשוייה מסדיני בית וענפי במבוק שקטפנו מהחניה של רמי לוי  ובתוכה אשה, (אני) מנגנת בגיטרה שירי תפילה  לבדה.  קול גברי נשמע מהחצר. "איזה מזל שהצלחנו לקיים מניין הבוקר." ובכן, בימות סגר, זה לא פשוט.  וחברו עונה "ברוך ה'".  שלש סוכות. שלש נשים.  לבדנה.  לפני יומיים, נסיתי אני לשבת בקצה המניין ממרחק  לענות אמן  אשה לבדה גם  אתמול הזמנתי שתי נשים  לסוכת הזולה לתפילה חגיגית  (עטויות מסכה ובמרחק של שני מטרים) ישבו שקטות, בלחש ואני שרה אשה לבדה והיום שלש סוכות שלש נשים לבדנה די, אני לא יכולה יותר.  אורזת את הגיטרה יוצאת מהסוכה. ו

Niddah for me is a very triggering subject, to the point that I don't practice it at all. Not so much the dipping in the Miqweh aspect, nor the sexual separation, but some of the associated practices: - abstinence from all forms of physical affection, not just explicitly sexual ones, coupled with the very strong expectation that one must have sex on miqweh night. Aside from the coercive element, this all or none approach is out of touch with many if not most women's sexual rhythms, for whom sexual desire is a culmination of ongoing touch and affection. - the 7 clean days, which adds at least 4 days to the waiting period, and creates more pressure for women to go to the miqweh as well as engage in intercourse exactly at the specified period. -the internal vaginal exams that women are supposed to perform during those seven days -showing stains to Rabbis. the introduction of female "yoatzot" only partly ameliorates this because who wants to really show stains to

נשואות בלבד! מה אמת אומר כיסוי ראש שלך? בשורה חדשה וישנה: לכיסוי ראש אין כל קשר לצניעות. ואני לא עומדת להגיד שהצניעות היא בלב, בדיבור, וכו' וכו' וכו', כי אני בין אלה המאמינים שצניעות היא גם בלבוש, ורואה בחיוב הופעה חיצונית צנועה, דהיינו הופעה שאינה מבליטה את המיניות ואינה חושפת למדי את הגוף ואת צורתו.  כיום אנחנו רגילים לראות נשים עם כיסוי ראש, חלקי או מלא, לבושות בכל מיני סגנונות לבוש, לא כולם צנועים כפי קריטריונים הלכתיים למיניהם. אז למה הן לא מוותרות על פיסת הבד שבראשן? האם פיסת הבד באמת הופכת אותן פתאום ליותר צנועות? לדעתי הוא אינו מפחית מהצגת המיניות בלבוש לא בכי הוא זה אדרבה, יש קהילות שאפילו ההפך: שברגע שאשה מתחתנת, היא שמה פאה מפוארת, שיוקרתה מבליטה את ההפך: את הפיכתה ליצור סקסי.  בציבור שאני מסתובבת, המנהג נוטה יותר למטפחות, לרוב בכיסוי חלקי. לפעמים אנחנו אפילו מתגאות על איך אנחנו כל כך יותר צנועות מהדוסיות בפאות שלהן. אך לדעתי הכיסויים שלנו מסמנים יוהרא לא פחות מהפאות שלהן.  הרי הסמליות של כל הכיסויים ופאות למינהם היא אח

"The women of Damascus went to the miqweh, by day as a matter of course. When rabbis joseph ibn tzayyah and Rabbi Moses Barukh realized what was going on, they had a lock installed on the miqwe door. The key was handed over for safekeeping to a few trustworthy women who were responsible for ensuring no one entered before sundown. Undaunted some women broke the lock to the door and continued immersing themselves by day." - Ruth Lamdan, A Separate People: Jewish Women in Palestine, Syria and Egypt This snippet is based on a teshuva from Avkat Rochel by Joseph Caro ,author of the shulhan arukh, who elsewhere states ver certainly that women may not immerse in the daytime. Caro refers to them as Mordot. I rather think of them as poskot. To paraphrase AJH, poskot with their feet. The Rebellious Women of Damascus were merely following in the footsteps of their illustrious aunts, The Rebellious Women of Cairo, castigated by Maimonides for going to the Miqweh 7 days after their pe

How I Became a Traditional Sephardi Feminist Part I I was born to an American Haredi family; the eldest daughter; followed by a smattering of brothers. The sisters came later; already after the outsider sense was cemented in me; a girl among boys in a highly gender segregated society. Thus the frame was laid early for both for the sense of outsiderness; the sense of otherness. The outsider complex didn’t start with me. My father was the only sephardi in town. He married married my mother, learned yiddish, learned to speak hebrew with a yiddish accent and received a prestigious Ashkenazi Rabbinical ordination . No matter how Ashkenazi he became; my father always felt different. He announced his difference too, although in small ways; when called to the Torah he always pronounced the blessings in his childhood sephardic accent. I felt it too; my grandparents didn’t speak yiddish, were more moderately religious, had different accents, different clothes, different food. I adopted

Shlomo is Dead. Let Him Die. In wake of #MeToo, the movement to boycott Carlebach tunes is gaining steam and if the spread of the entire movement is any indication, singing Carlebach is going to soon to become verboten to all folk who believe they are woke. Woe unto any sh’liach tzibur caught unbeknowings singing a Carlebach tune; other participants will signal their virtue by loudly changing the tune in his face; chastise him (or her for that matter) over kiddush for his insensitivity to women and sexual abuse, or at the very least, tsk tsk over his naivete and ask that immediately learn which songs are shlomos’s so that he can adhere to the new halacha in the future. As one of the campaigners writes ; “the greatest challenge of uprooting Shlomo Carlebach is identifying it.” Does that make any sense at all? If some people are thinking about God while singing that verse and not about Shlomo, well congratulations to you for bringing Shlomo back (sarcasm alert). Opponents o

Due to recent sexual misconduct allegations; a common question has come up: Why Did She Go Back? See, in many cases; the alleged victim has gone back and continued a relationship with the perpetrator. And that is considered a reason to disbelieve her testimony. Because of course if she had been an unwilling; she wouldn't have gone back. There are enough personal testimonies out there countering this line of thought. Mine, as traumatic as it was to me, is probably atypical, because the type of sexual exploitation that occurred to me is atypical, was essentially legal, and did not include the use of force. But what it shares in these accounts is that like the others, the part of the story in which we participated willingly; however small, however brief; silences us from coming forward. Holding him accountable falls by the wayside; as the brunt of the blame and accusation now falls on us- even in our own minds, let alone everyone else's. In fact I believe that this is what

As previously discussed; everyone agrees that Rabbis are male, right? And so the great debate arose amongst liberal jewry on what to call the anomaly of a female rabbi in hebrew. I once heard someone referred to as "Reb Jill." The conservative movement insisted that a woman rabbi was a rav. As in "הרב תעביר דרשה".  The Liberal Orthodox came up with a number of obscure phrases, such as "congregational intern," and then "Maharat (an acronym of something for other)." But it seems the Reform movement won out in the end with their most grammatically correct "Rabbah." Of course they beat out the bunch because they had the following Biblical prooftext supporting them: "רבות בנות עשו חיל, והטלית על כולנה". But all these women candidates for female religious leadership had one thing in common. They all agree that they are not Rabbaniyot. And that's too bad. Traditionally, the Rabbanit is the Hebrew word for the Rabbi

  Thoughts on Agunot from a Perspective of Loyalty To Tradition written originally to an activist friend  Nowadays as  before we hear alot on the need to find a halachic solution for get refusal I have a different approach  Halachic authorities will find their own solution only when we the people stop depending on them and take matters into our own hands In my opinion we don't need a halachic solution since the whole thing is an articially created problem that does not arise from a the Torah. Yeah, I said its not from the Torah. Not interpreted straightforwardly anyway There is no such thing as an agunah in the Torah.  No such concept. No idea that two people who live completely separate lives should be considered married because of the presence or lack of a piece of paper. The elevation of a piece of paper over and above actual reality is not from the Torah and does not fit our lived experience  There is an obligation for a man to write a get, there is no oblig